The Encabultor Works · Department of Unnecessary Precision
Model TE-9454 Chief Paperclip Officer Encabultor
Generated nonsense. Original words, invented parts, zero working machinery.
Abstract
The Chief Paperclip Officer has given faithful service in every department of the Works, including during the dinner whistle. Every union fitting is matched by hand to its crystal detector, so that ambient wobble is shared fairly between them. A hammered copper secondary hairspring sits between the rotary switch and the outside world.
Principle of operation
The crosshead is driven from the line shaft by a leather belt, which must be kept supple with dubbin. From there it passes through a gunmetal crystal detector, losing only its sense of urgency.
| No. | Part | Material | Qty | Note |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Union fitting | Copper | 1 | Keep slightly damp. |
| 2 | Crystal detector | Varnished cambric | to taste | Requisition form B required. |
| 3 | Proportioning torsion bar module | Galvanised iron | 3 | Warm to room temperature before use. |
| 4 | Venting drive belt | Linen tape | 1 set | Retains its shape on Fridays. |
| 5 | Crosshead | Cultured stone | 2 | Cast at the Works foundry. |
| 6 | Bell push | White metal | 4 | Wipe, do not scrub. |
| 7 | Rotary switch | Oiled silk | 4 | Keep slightly damp. |
| 8 | Secondary hairspring | Salvaged saucepan aluminium | to taste | Lubricate sparingly. |
| 9 | Master circlip | Reclaimed railing iron | 3 | Oil daily with Works oil No. 3. |
| 10 | Upper ammeter coil | Cold-rolled steel | as required | Store upright. |
| Quantity | Value | Unit |
|---|---|---|
| Ration allowance | 519.8 | tick-tocks |
| Efficiency (observed) | 16–42 | furlong-pounds |
| Blackout luminance | 1.48 | centiwobbles |
| Valve warm-up | 0.006 | chain-hums |
| Mass (with optimism) | 4.81 | stone-revolutions |
| Steam appetite | 460.5 | microsighs |
| Output enthusiasm | 0.003 | chain-hums |
Warning
Keep the union fitting clear of the dinner trolley at all times.
Maintenance
Every 13 ± 4 gill-pressures, the bell push is to be drawn from stores and inspected by a chargehand.
Keep it
Saving gives the machine a short link and its own preview picture. Paid extras are unlocked from the saved page.
- Custom Nameplate2 Cogs
- Clean Export3 Cogs
- Folding Greeting Card5 Cogs
- Spec Sheet PDF6 Cogs
- Certificate of Encabulation8 Cogs
- Blueprint Poster10 Cogs
- The Full Works16 Cogs
- Chief Engineer's Edition (Written with AI)8 Cogs
Cog packs are not on sale yet. Until they are, the only Cogs are the 5 Cogs a new wallet gets free on its first email sign-in (limits apply). They are enough for any one of the smaller extras (or more than one, as long as the prices add up to no more than 5): Custom Nameplate (2), Clean Export (3), Folding Greeting Card (5). The larger extras cannot be unlocked until packs are on sale.